Let me start by say welcome my Labels and Jellyspoons. I may sound mad but this is what is known in my school as a Beaumontism, a phrase used and made famous by my slightly eccentric but infinitely brilliant chemistry teacher Mr Beaumont. He has lots of little phrases that are commonplace in lessons but if used in an exam would leave the examiner thinking you are a dribbling fool or escaped lunatic (Mr Beaumont is neither). An extremely popular one is "it will just sit there and smile at you" meaning "it won't react" not to mention "this is going to kick some arse" which naturally means "it is very reactive". I have had a sudden mind blank of the other good ones so any readers who have been taught by Mr B, feel free to add some in the comments box.
Next little scrap for the book - Valentine's Day, believe it or not, I am not a fan of February 14th. I sometimes abandon my usual conservative views in favour of radical socialist views (just ask me my opinion on starbucks) and Valentine's Day is one of these times. Why do I need to spend an enormous amount of money on my girlfriend, just to prove that I quite like her? I prefer to spread my heart out, spontaneous flowers in mid-June, just because I happened to walk past some flowers with a bit of spare change, out to dinner at the beginning of October, because I feel like a treat or a hand written letter at the end of March, just because I'm in the mood for it. Unfortunately the corporate dogs in all their money grabbing wisdom, made a day in which it is customary, almost obligatory to treat your other half (my better half). To take it further, restaurants, supermarkets, card makers, chocolatiers and just about every feasible activity double-treble their prices to milk as much money out of men desperate to buy their way into their spouses knickers later that night. Men judge each other on their plans for the Mrs, looking down on those who are planning "a quiet night in" instead of a romantic cruise on the river or dinner and fireworks at sunset on the hill where we shared our first kiss, ruthless competition between males drives them further to prove they can treat their woman better than the next guy. The world needs more spontaneity, not ruthlessly organised gift buying. Having said all this I did fork out for a rose, champagne, dinner and a card. Why? Because it is the rules, obviously my girlfriend is great and deserves the best treatment I can possibly give but why does it have to be scheduled by the retail calendar? Then there is the even worse side to Valentine's day, single people feel terrible, another year with no plans, I'll just sit at home, watch a film, eat chocolate and feel sorry for myself. If treating her was spontaneous then desperately lonely people would cry themselves to sleep one night less each year.
If you ever find yourself walking down Sutton high street on a Sunday evening you will be struck by how desolate it is, I felt like I was walking through a post-apocalyptic world, shops all shut, completely deserted, rain falling and the only sounds being my footprints and the rain on my umbrella.
When I go to work, I get the bus to Cheam to meet up with my beautiful girlfriend before going to work. It is these frequent journeys to Cheam from Sutton that has led me to alter one of the worlds oldest sayings: "There are only two certainties in life: death and taxes" ~Ben Franklin but was misheard in London and converted to "death and taxis". I realised this is wrong, the two things in life you can be absolutely certain of are death and 213 buses.
Four scraps - more of a scrapbooklet than a scrapbook, oh well, happy scrapping.
I think the presumption that seems rife these days that all single people without exception become near-suicidal on February 14th is almost bad as the whole arm-twisting by society of those who aren't single to do "something" - usually a bit OTT - on that particular day. My stance is that of absolute ambivalence. If people want to show affection to their loved ones, why on Earth does it have to be on just one day where it goes out of all proportion? Surely, and this comes from my purely logical brain, it would be better for every day to be Valentine's day, in the sense of the actual meaning of the day - that of showing your undying affection for someone? Though that would piss off Hallmark Cards no end. People can be happily single - I have been for ages, and I do wish that the presumption on the other side of Valentines isn't always that of everyone who is single being so distraught by this to be contemplating hurling themselves off the Clifton Suspension Bridge.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, enough of my rambling. I do hope my meaning isn't lost in my meandering wording. I very much like your blog, so keep at it :)