My morning often starts with my body being filled with rage. This is due to a group of girls from the local Catholic school. This Catholic school is so local that it takes just five minutes to walk to from my bus stop. Obviously I do not have a problem with these girls using the bus if they are coming from a long distance away, that is what buses are for. What is not alright is for loads of these girls to walk out of the station (which is just opposite the bus stop) and wait for the bus. There is a group of around fifteen girls that do this (often preceded by a trip to the bakery to eat 4 danish pastries before school). It is a 5 minute walk, because of traffic the bus usually takes 2 minutes, the wait is usually 10 minutes. They take 12 minutes to do a 5 minute journey because they are so bloody lazy! What is even worse is when the bus refuses to let us on because there are too many of these girls so the three regulars who have much further to go on the bus (including myself) have to be late and the girls just take the short walk. The worst occurrence ever was when I was at the bus stop with my dad, the bus stopped and let people on, just before we were about to get on, the driver said "Sorry, no more room" and we had to wait, just for having some manners. If I ever go on a killing spree, they will be the first to go.
In Year 10, we got a new librarian at school, she was the scariest woman in the world, to the extent that I was scared to go in there. We called her the dragon, the witch, the bitch and all sorts of names. From the moment I entered the Sixth Form this instantly changed, she suddenly became the nicest woman in the world, always keen to help, recommend books, talk to you about work and future prospects, what a transformation! I happened to be working in there while she was giving an induction to the new Year 7s and she was instantly terrifying again, she must dislike children. I'm not sure why this is in negatives, she is lovely now.
Another is a fat Irishwoman who comes into work sometimes, she clears out our reduced cakes, complains about the cakes that aren't reduced and doesn't say thank you once you have served her. Once she has paid, I always pray she pays at the till and not at my bakery till, she will stand just inside the door checking her receipt. Nothing had come up before but recently she found a discrepancy and demanded a refund. She was overcharged. We were shocked. How could we have done this? We had overcharged her! BY FOUR FUCKING PENCE! It doesn't help that she is the rudest woman in the world. I was under the impression that the Irish and fat people are jolly, she should be doubly jolly!
What really kills me is people walking on the pavement antisocially. By this I mean slow walkers, people in groups that span the entire pavement, people who walk right down the middle of the pavement towards you forcing you into the road or against a wall, people who don't control their dogs and people who don't smile back. Not to worry, I have prepared a solution, The Walking License. In order to walk in public places a person must hold a Walking License which can be obtained by passing The Walking Test. Those without licenses may only walk with those who have (maximum ratio of holders:not = 1:3) and display a large L on their front and back. If anyone breaks this law they will be slapped with a fine of £100 and banned from walking between 6pm and 7am. The Walking Test is very simple, you must demonstrate your ability to follow the rules of the pavement and pedestrian etiquette. When I'm in charge, things will be different.
Ahhhhhhhhh, people.
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