Insects

I have nothing against insects, they don't freak me out or scare me but sometimes they really do irritate me. I was walking home with a friend from an end of exam celebration the other night and the amount of mindless creatures about was astonishing.

I will start with snails, has there ever been a more irritating creature, it is ugly, slimy and eats your plants? It was a fairly damp night and these little wastes of an animal had decided to crawl enmasse across the paths. All. The. Way. Home. Obviously I did not want to tread on these dimwitted molluscs (it would ruin my shoes) so I took extra care to navigate around them, not particularly easy when as inebriated as my companion and I were. Naturally there were some snail casualties, a loud crunch accompanied by a groan of irritation from one of us. Over the 20 minute walk I was responsible for the death of five to my companion's three. I must have bigger feet.

The other insect that irritates me is any little bastard that bites me and tries to suck my blood. Personally I am quite fond of my blood and I would prefer that it stays inside my body, I am not partial to the sharing of bodily fluids. I am aware I have quite a lot of blood and they only want to take a little bit but I disagree with this way of life. Would I kill a healthy individual to save the lives of many others with the healthy man's organs? No I would not so stop sucking my blood you little demons. I am prepared to give these insects one warning, if i feel a small pain in any part of my body that feels like an insect I will take a light swipe at that part of my body. If this does not deter the insects they will be immediatly destroyed, most likely by splattering, no messing about. One particular beast that tried sucking blood from my neck was thrown into the sink and drowned.

Irritating little buggers